Bipolar and Mental Illnesses are written about here. Written by a bipolar person themselves.

Posts tagged ‘say’

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13 Things People With Anxiety Are Tired of Hearing, And What You Can Say Instead

What to Say For Anxiety  
“People who live with anxiety often have the pleasure of hearing unsolicited advice and words of wisdom from others. Even when people have the best intentions, this can be somewhat annoying. The Mighty decided to ask people who live with anxiety two things: 1) What’s something you’re tired of hearing? And 2) What’s something you’d like to hear from others?”

Here’s what they had to say: 

1. Don’t say: “You can’t control what is going to happen, so why are you anxious about it?”

“Instead, try this: “I understand that you are anxious because you can’t control this situation, but maybe you could try to focus your energy on what you can control.”

  

2. Don’t say: “What do you have to be anxious about?”

Instead, try this: “Wow. You’re suffering from anxiety disorder? What exactly is that for you, and what does it mean to be anxious?”
3. Don’t say: “Get over it.“

Instead, try this: “Are you OK?”

  

4. Don’t say: “It’s all in your head.” 

Instead, try this: “I’m here for you with whatever you need right now.”
  
  
5. Don’t say: “It’s not that big of a deal. Stop worrying too much.” 

Instead, try this: “What can I do to help?”
6. Don’t say: “Don’t worry, things will turn out fine.“

Instead, try this: “It will pass. Just keep breathing.”

  
7. Don’t say: “Just trust God. You should have more faith.“

Instead, try this: “I’m sorry you are struggling with this.”
8. Don’t say: “You don’t know what will happen so stop freaking out about it.” 

Instead, try this: “It sounds like you’re having a hard time. I’m here if you want to talk, or I’ll just stay with you.”
9. Don’t say: “It’s all in your head.”

Instead, try this: “It’s OK to feel this way.”

  
10. Don’t say: “I know, I worry about things too.“

Instead, try this: “I don’t know how you feel right now, but I can tell you’re overwhelmed. What can I do for you, or do you need me to do anything?”
11. Don’t say: “It could be worse.“

Instead, try this: “Just don’t give up.”
12. Don’t say: “Think happy thoughts.“

Instead, try this: “That’s got to be tough.”
  

13. Don’t say: “Just calm down.“

Instead, try this: “What do you need?”

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7 Helpful Things to Say to Someone with Depression

Helpful Things to Say
“Depression has a way of being an all-consuming, monster of a battle. It takes a toll physically and emotionally. It’s often stigmatized. But perhaps one of the biggest struggles for those who suffer is the feeling that no one else in the world can truly understand what they’re going through.”
“However, those feelings of isolation provide one of the biggest opportunities for loved ones to help, explains Gregory Dalack, M.D., chair of the department of psychiatry at the University of Michigan.”

“The key thing is to help the [depressed] person know that you understand that they’re ill,” he tells The Huffington Post. “A lot of people view depression as some sort of character flaw. To let someone know that you understand that this is an illness that needs to be treated is important.”

“The fact is, depression isn’t an easy fight — but you don’t have to suffer from it in order to be a source of comfort for those who do. If you’re looking to support someone with depression but can’t exactly figure out what to say, mental health experts offer the seven suggestions below — and explain why these phrases matter.”

“I’m here for you.”

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“Sometimes the smallest gestures go a long way, Dalack explains. By telling someone with depression that you’re there for them — and then really showing it — you’re probably helping more than you realize. “It requires a little reflection and thought to be supportive,” Dalack says. “Family members, friends and significant others have an opportunity to help in a way that’s not judgmental — even if it’s just helping them get to appointments, take medications or stick to a daily routine.”

“You’re not alone.”

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“Depression can feel like driving through a dark tunnel that you’re navigating alone. It’s important for loved ones to make it clear to those suffering that they don’t have to journey through the disorder by themselves, says Adam Kaplin, M.D., an associate professor in the departments of psychiatry and neurology at Johns Hopkins.”

“It may look incredibly bleak for them right now,” he says. “It’s helpful to remind them that the feelings are temporary and you’ll be right there with them. Say, ‘It’s you and me against the depression, and we will win.”

“This is not your fault.”

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“Letting loved ones know that depression isn’t their fault is crucial to the healing process, Dalack says. “Sometimes folks with depression feel that it happens because there is something wrong with them,” he explains. “When you have the flu, you can’t remember what it feels like to feel good. Well, when your brain is the main target of the illness, it’s even harder to deal with because your mind is affected along with the rest of your body — but you feel like it’s your fault. It’s important to convey that you understand that they’re suffering from an illness almost in the same way as they suffer from the flu.”
“For those who don’t understand the complicated nuances of depression, telling someone to “buck up” or asking what they have to be sad about may seem logical. However, phrases like these suggest that depression is something they’re choosing to live with, Dalack says.”

“Those all imply that there’s something that the person is doing to get them into that state,” he says. “It’s not their choice, just like it’s not your choice to get the flu. You didn’t ask for it and you’re not going to snap out of it. If we don’t think of depression in the same way, then you increase the likelihood that someone is going to victimize themselves.”

“I’ll go with you.”

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“This goes for therapy sessions, doctor appointments or even just the pharmacy. “It’s not going to be an overnight cure, but being there during the process of treatment can help them see it through,” Dalack says. “The only thing harder than encouraging someone to seek treatment is getting them to follow through and complete it. By offering to go with them, you’re not only being supportive, but you’re telling them that what they have is treatable and not just brushing it off as something that’s no big deal.”

To read the rest of this article, click on the link above

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Why We Say “Trick or Treat”

Why Do We Say “Trick or Treat”
“It’s one of a kid’s favorite parts of Halloween. There’s no feeling quite like waiting for a stranger to open his or her door so you can scream the words “Trick or treat!” But why do we say it? What does it actually mean? The practice of donning a costume and asking for treats from your neighbors dates back to the Middle Ages, but back then it wasn’t a game.

During the medieval practice of souling, poor people would make the rounds begging for food. In return, they offered prayers for the dead on All Souls Day. (What does the “een” in “Halloween” mean exactly? The answer lies here.)”

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“Modern trick or treating is a custom borrowed from guising, which children still do in some parts of Scotland. Guising involves dressing in costume and singing a rhyme, doing a card trick, or telling a story in exchange for a sweet. The Scottish and Irish brought the custom to America in the 19th century.”

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“Some have traced the earliest reference of the term trick or treat in print was in 1927, in Alberta, Canada. It appears as if the practice didn’t really take hold in the U.S. until the mid-1930s, where it was not always well received. The demanding of a treat angered or puzzled some adults. Supposedly, in a Halloween parade in 1948 in New York, the Madison Square Boys Club carried a banner sporting the message “American Boys Don’t Beg.” By 1952, the practice was widely accepted enough to be mentioned in the family television show Ozzie and Harriet.”

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Say It Forward Anti-Stigma Campaign

Anti-Stigma Campaign

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Monday, October 6, 2014 – 12:00 to Sunday, October 12, 2014 – 12:00 – See more at: http://www.ibpf.org/event/say-it-forward-anti-stigma-campaign#sthash.02RLDwrY.dpuf

“When it comes to mental health conditions, silence is not golden. Silence breeds stigma, and stigma prevents people from seeking life-saving treatment and support.

Please join the International Bipolar Foundation and our partners in a social media campaign the week of Oct. 6-12 to fight the stigma of mental illness and encourage those who need it, to seek treatment. Help us “bust the stigma” by “saying it forward.””

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“When we separate myth from fact, stigma loses its power and seeking treatment is less scary for those who need help. Help me fight stigma!”

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“Starting Oct. 6, visit SayItForwardCampaign.org to share the facts and shatter the myths of mental illness through email, Facebook, Twitter and YouTube. You can also share your stories and stigma-busting triumphs by using the hashtags #BustTheStigma and #SayItForward. Last year we reached more than a million people, and with your support, we hope to surpass that milestone this year.”

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7 Of The Most Helpful Things You Can Say To Someone With Depression

Helpful Words to Someone with Depression

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“Depression has a way of being an all-consuming, monster of a battle. It takes a toll physically and emotionally. It’s often stigmatized. But perhaps one of the biggest struggles for those who suffer is the feeling that no one else in the world can truly understand what they’re going through.”

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“However, those feelings of isolation provide one of the biggest opportunities for loved ones to help, explains Gregory Dalack, M.D., chair of the department of psychiatry at the University of Michigan.”

“The key thing is to help the [depressed] person know that you understand that they’re ill,” he tells The Huffington Post. “A lot of people view depression as some sort of character flaw. To let someone know that you understand that this is an illness that needs to be treated is important.”

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“The fact is, depression isn’t an easy fight — but you don’t have to suffer from it in order to be a source of comfort for those who do. If you’re looking to support someone with depression but can’t exactly figure out what to say, mental health experts offer the seven suggestions below — and explain why these types of phrases matter.

“I’m here for you.”

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“Sometimes the smallest gestures go a long way, Dalack explains. By telling someone with depression that you’re there for them — and then really showing it — you’re probably helping more than you realize. “It requires a little reflection and thought to be supportive,” Dalack says. “Family members, friends and significant others have an opportunity to help in a way that’s not judgmental — even if it’s just helping them get to appointments, take medications or stick to a daily routine.”

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To The People Who Don’t Know How To Say No

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Thought Catalog

I’ve been a believer of the “Yes Man” philosophy for a long time now. In short, a Yes Man is someone who never turns down an opportunity, often to win the favor of someone else. (It was exacerbated in a film that stars Jim Carrey, where he challenges himself to say yes to everything for an entire year. But of course, I have my own version inside my head. Check it out if you haven’t yet!) I’ve learned to say yes to almost every opportunity that has ever come my way, and at the same time, I’ve said yes to almost every favor that’s been asked of me. That attitude has brought me to different places, has introduced me to so many people, and has given me so much to experience. I’m that person. I’m the real-life, non-literal, yes man.

That same attitude, however, has turned me into a person…

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13 Things You Should Say To Your Significant Other Every Day

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Thought Catalog

While some people need to hear, “I love you,” every day, I’m more into showing versus telling. The following phrases are ways to demonstrate that you love your significant other and should be said early and often, on a daily basis, if possible. It’s best to practice saying some of these things into a mirror and imagining the delight it will give your partner. (Saying, “I love you” every day will always be appreciated as well. Just make sure it’s not a substitute for behaving accordingly.)

1. “You look great.”

I want to know that you still find me delightfully appealing (even when I haven’t showered, shaved or put on anything more than a t-shirt and boxers) and that your attraction to me is never-ending despite our sharing a bathroom. If I’ve showered and put myself together enough to look presentable, then I really need to hear this because it…

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